Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
