He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
