super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
