people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
