Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
