did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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