My first STD was from a foam party
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
