She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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