Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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