READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
