Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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