it hurts more in the daytime
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
