I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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