I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
