playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
