we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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