Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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