I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
