Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
