U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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