ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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