New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
