Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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