he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
