And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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