How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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