Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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