lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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