it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
