I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
