Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
