Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
