I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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