If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
