a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
