he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
