Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
