i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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