so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
