White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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