I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
