What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
