no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
ttyl tear gas
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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