You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
