At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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