With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
