I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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