dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
