girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
