Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize
