oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
